“I have tamed change and made it friendly.”
However, in order to do that, I have been taming myself too. I have been training it on accepting change and other life inconveniences with peaceful mind and self consciousness. That’s how I managed to be in control and to make good use of change.
Change is a universal Law of life and nature
People are governed by change: they are born, grow up, mate, live life, get old, see their own lives reproduced in their children and grandchildren, and eventually return to their Creator. Nature too is governed by change. Look at the trees and the natural cycle over the whole year. Don’t you become excited when spring brings back its change to the bare branches?
Change is very important for us
You won’t fail to notice that all the beautiful things that happen to you come along with change! For example, the day you get promoted in your job for your work, cooperation, and efforts will always be a great day of change. And if you were a new mother expecting her baby, you will definitely see the whole bunch of changes that come along with pregnancy. As for the delivery day when baby arrives, that is the biggest and loveliest change around here.
Without change, you will see no action, no events, no excitement, and no life, only death.
Yes, change can be unfriendly
Of course, change takes you from your comfort zone and puts you in a new environment where you meet brand new things. But, isn’t that how you get experience and knowledge in life? Isn’t that how you grow? I mean by being exposed to new things and new situations?
When I went back to graduate school after years of being only a mother and a housewife, I found myself competing with young smart students whose education was based on international systems to which I was certainly behind. If you watched me back then, you could notice the stress I was put to. But I had learned how to endure school years then college years so, endurance was not unyielding. Endurance is always the answer.
However, the stress I went through was quickly gone. Besides, it was nothing compared to the joyful feelings I had when I finished my study and graduated like my younger smarter colleagues. I even had higher GPA than a good number of them.
Change is inevitable
If you don’t go to change, it will come to you or, if you don’t initiate change and direct it, it will be initiated by someone else and you will not be the director. The trick is that you always want to be in control of the situation. So, what to do in order to control change?
How to tame change?
1. Accept Change
If you are sure that change is inevitable, that good things come with it, and that by starting your own change, you will have the lead over it so, why not gladly accept change?
If ageing is a type of change that we cannot prevent so, why not accept it peacefully while making the best out of everything it offers. You can increase the good points and dismiss the bad ones. If the negative point comes because the body and the mind get older, you can neutralize that by adopting healthier lifestyles. You can even reverse things by concentrating on the young person inside you and the ageless youth of your soul. I don’t notice that I am passed fifty except when I am filling up some forms and documents.
On the other hand, getting older gives you an edge because of the accumulation of experience and knowledge. You can increase the benefits by being alert and always ready to learn. You want to learn everything and use all the information you possess to help you advance in life. When the right moment, and when you initiate the change you want with the help of your expertise and endurance, your initiative will make the universe positively respond to it.
2. Be Patient & Tolerant
When you face some difficult moments with patience and tolerance, you feel calm, in control of the situation, and that your mind is in full shape. This happens a lot with mothers of little children. It is always one moment that separates between self-awareness and being in control and between lack of awareness and losing control.
Please keep track of that moment. Do everything you can to stay in control: a deep breath can help you concentrate to see where you are heading. With some training, you will find it like the electricity switch that you can put off and on whenever you want.
Keeping your mind “in shape”, particularly in difficult moments, is an invaluable skill for making the best use of change. With some thinking you are able to turn the undesirable into desirable by increasing the benefits of what you got and diminishing the tough part.
Keep in mind that difficulties are also a part and parcel of human life whether you go through a change or not. That would add to your peace of mind.
3. Make the best use of change & all what it offers
Some changes are caused by you while other changes are imposed on you. One of the harshest changes I had to go through came with the political disturbance of January 2011, in Egypt. It was a real challenge because with it the security levels we, Egyptians, were accustomed to started a new phase of constant decline and with that worry started to occupy a larger part of our days.
The new imposed changes made me thankful to all the experiences of change I had had before as they gave me the flexibility needed to deal with new situations. And despite the fact that my family and my career suffered because of the time I gave in participation in the collective action in defense of our country, the amount of political awareness and information as well as the benefits I acquired during the last few years were very huge. As a lover of personal development and growth, I can’t but appreciate every single detail that I went through.
4. The best defense is a good offense
(i.e. start the change you desire instead of waiting for undesired changes to be imposed on you)
So, if you want to defend yourself so that particular changes are not imposed on you, the best way, according to this wise saying, is to begin by doing the change yourself. In other words, if you want no change to be imposed on you, you impose your change on the world. You take the initiative and start the change you desire. It will be done and it’s you who imposed it this time.
When I finished my master’s degree, I was automatically introduced to a career of teaching which was available and rewarding. While I had no preference for a teaching career, deep inside me, I had an urge of becoming a published author. I had always memorized the inspiring quotes of famous success teachers, “Be yourself; follow your instinct; do what you deeply feel you want to do; look for the things you stand out into; eliminate the fear of failure and sure you will succeed; success is inevitable; etc.” I couldn’t simply ignore their words and I am really thankful to all of them, they were right about almost everything they said.
I took the initiative by starting to write my first book. In that way, I was the one who initiated the change I desired. I had to go through the following steps of having my book published then marketed. All those new steps had their challenge but again and again, I kept directing my mind to concentrate on the end result of having a book published with my name on it and the great feelings which will come with that.
5. Concentrate on the positive
- Keep repeating to yourself, out loud, all the beautiful things that will come to you along with the change and keep concentrating on the desirable part that you will have because of it. Never mind difficulties, they are always present with and without change. Difficulty is another universal law so, ask yourself this question, “what would you prefer, to go after change, despite the difficulty, and achieve what you desire or to stay in the same place without change, without achievements, and still have the difficulty?”
- Program your sub conscience by drawing pictures about the change you are going to create showing it as a the best place you could love and would really love to be in. You can also draw a picture of the no-change situation as the total opposite to the other picture.
- Surround yourself with people who are enthusiastic about change in general and about you to start a change in particular. Those people will encourage you to take new steps on the road of success. Look in your friends and relatives for such people and when you find them keep them close to you. If you can have an everyday contact with them, just do.
6. Avoid the negative
Stay away from negative thoughts and negative people. Keep the people who have no faith in change or in improvement as far as possible. Those people would drain your energy and would have negative impact on you. Maybe it is not possible to ban them from you life still, you can plan a schedule which makes no room for them. But what if you come across them and can’t avoid their presence? That would be like emergencies. Right after you leave them, work on reversing everything they did: you can have extra session of self assertions just to recharge yourself with positive energy. You may also need to have interaction with people from the opposite group.
It is understood that change can be unfriendly. When, at moments, you concentrate on the challenge of change and on the re-adjustment needed, you might feel reluctant to keep going with it. Shift concentration towards the favorable end result as a method to regain control over the whole situation.